Relapsing in Recovery: A Personal Reflection

Relapse is one of the most challenging and humbling experiences in recovery. Some say it’s a part of the process, but for me, it was a painful setback I don’t recommend. That said, everyone’s journey is different, and if relapse happens, it doesn’t mean the end of the road—it’s a chance to reflect, regroup, and recommit.

When I relapsed after rehab, I learned that relapse doesn’t start with the first drink or drug. It’s a process that begins long before the physical act, often with subtle emotional or mental shifts that go unnoticed. It might start with mood swings, pulling away from your support system, skipping meetings, or romanticizing the "good times" of drinking or using. Recognizing these signs is critical, and understanding relapse as a process—not a single event—can help you take action before it’s too late.

Why Relapse Happens

In my experience, relapse happens when unresolved issues linger. If you haven’t truly addressed the root causes of your addiction—whether it’s trauma, grief, or emotional pain—those feelings don’t magically disappear. They fester, and when left unchecked, they can pull you back toward old habits.

Another factor is disconnecting from the people who help you stay accountable. Are you pulling away from your sponsor, recovery friends, or supportive loved ones? I know I did. I thought I could handle sobriety on my own, which leads me to the dangerous trap of overconfidence—the belief that I was "cured" and no longer needed to work on my recovery. That mindset was a major contributor to my relapse.

On top of that, stress, lack of healthy coping mechanisms, and being around people or places tied to drinking or using can weaken your resolve. If I had learned to manage stress better or avoided old triggers, I might have been better equipped to prevent that relapse.

Relapse doesn’t happen all at once. It unfolds in stages, starting with an emotional relapse, where you’re not consciously thinking about drinking or using, but your behavior sets the stage. For me, this looked like isolating myself, skipping meetings, and getting overly anxious or irritable. I wasn’t dealing with my emotions—I was letting them build up.

Next comes the mental relapse, where you start fantasizing about drinking or using. I remember romanticizing my drinking days—thinking about the good times at the bar with friends or how I "got through" my dad’s death by drowning my grief in Bloody Marys. What I wasn’t remembering was the fallout—the jail time, the ruined relationships, the hangovers, and the guilt.

Finally, the physical relapse happens when you take that first drink or drug. By this point, the emotional and mental warning signs have gone unchecked, and the cycle begins again.

So, how do you stop the process before it gets to that final stage?

1. Be Mindful: Pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Are you avoiding emotions, isolating yourself, or skipping meetings? These are red flags.

2. Stay Connected: Lean into your support system, whether it’s your sponsor, recovery group, or trusted friends and family. When my mom passed away, I was grieving deeply. I reached out to my psychiatrist, who helped me process my feelings and prescribed a medication to level my mood. Simply taking action to address my emotions helped me avoid relapse.

3. Focus on Your Routine: Stick to recovery habits like attending meetings, journaling, or daily prayer. For me, Friday night AA meetings are essential. Even when I don’t feel like leaving the couch, I remind myself that skipping one meeting can lead to skipping more—and that’s a slippery slope.

4. Address Cravings Head-On: If you’re romanticizing drinking or thinking, "I deserve this," pause and play the tape forward. What happens after that first drink? For me, it’s chaos—bad decisions, fights with my husband, embarrassing social media posts, and possibly even jail. Reminding myself of the consequences keeps me grounded.

5. Take Care of Yourself: Lack of sleep, poor diet, and stress make you more vulnerable. Stay rested, eat well, and find healthy ways to decompress, whether that’s exercise, meditation, or talking to a friend.

Recovery isn’t just about avoiding relapse—it’s about finding ways to stay inspired and motivated on the journey. For me, part of that has been building a life that brings me joy, including starting Grit and Grace, an online store filled with recovery-inspired items designed to uplift and encourage others.

If you’re looking for daily reminders of your strength and the path you’re on, check out the Recovery-Inspired Collection at Grit and Grace. From inspiring drinkware to journals, shirts, and coasters, these items serve as a source of motivation and encouragement to keep you moving forward. 💜

📲 Explore the collection here: https://www.gritandgracestore.com/collections/recovery-inspired-items/recovery

Whether it’s a coffee mug that reminds you to take it one day at a time or a journal to help you process your thoughts, having physical reminders of your journey can make a difference in staying grounded and committed to your recovery.

My relapse after rehab was my rock bottom. It was the wake-up call that forced me to admit I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable. For the first time, I truly embraced Step One, humbled myself, and let go of the illusion that I could handle this disease on my own.

Walking into AA after my relapse was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I felt ashamed, defeated, and broken. But in that vulnerability, I found strength. I leaned on God and let Him take control of my sobriety because I realized that when I’m in charge, things fall apart.

Using the Past to Shape the Future

I don’t dwell on my relapse, but I do keep it in the rearview mirror. It’s a reminder of where I’ve been and why I never want to go back. Recovery isn’t about being perfect—it’s about staying vigilant, learning from setbacks, and staying on the path.

This is why I recover loudly: to keep others from suffering in silence. This is why I remind myself every day why I started—to keep moving forward. And this is why I stay connected to God, my recovery community, and the habits that keep me sober.

Relapse doesn’t have to define your story. It can be a chapter, but it doesn’t have to be the ending. Take it one day at a time, forgive yourself, and keep moving forward. You’re worth it.

💜 Stay strong, and stay the course.