Overcoming Challenges in Sobriety: Triggers, Guilt, Hard Times, and People

Recovery is not easy. Staying sober comes with challenges—some expected, some that hit you out of nowhere. Avoiding triggers, dealing with guilt, not drinking when life gets tough, and navigating relationships are just a few of the hurdles we face. But here’s the thing: we can get through them. One day at a time.

Avoiding Triggers

Triggers are everywhere, and they change over time. In the beginning, my biggest triggers were insomnia and loneliness. When I couldn’t sleep, I felt isolated, and drinking gave me an escape. I’d pass out, wake up, and do it all over again—avoiding work, responsibilities, and my feelings.

Now, my triggers have shifted to anxiety and stress. It’s different for everyone, but the key is recognizing them. When I feel triggered, I stop and acknowledge it: I’m feeling triggered right now. Instead of numbing it with alcohol, I do something healthier. I reach out—to my husband, my sponsor, my brother or sister, or my AA friends. If I need professional support, I schedule a same-day appointment with my psychiatrist. If I need a distraction, I get lost in a TV series, bake something for my neighbors, or have a conversation with God. Or I shop online, get lost in a book, or look around the house to see what needs to be organized.

The point is, see triggers for what they are and have a plan. You don’t have to face them alone.

Living with Guilt

Guilt is a heavy burden. We made bad decisions in our addiction. We hurt people. We hurt ourselves. I lost my job of 11 years, my license, and friendships. I wasn’t there for my mom when she had cancer for the third time. I skipped my niece’s baptism because I was too hungover. I lied. I drove drunk.

How do you come back from that? Slowly. You rebuild your life and yourself, one day at a time. Not everyone will welcome it. Some people will never trust you again. But you keep going.

Guilt can be a trigger in itself. If we dwell on the past too much, we spiral—and that’s dangerous. Instead, we acknowledge it, work to make amends, and forgive ourselves. We can’t change what we did, but we can control what we do now. Kindness to yourself is just as important as kindness to others. The past doesn’t define us—our actions today do.

Not Drinking When Life Gets Hard

Life doesn’t get easier just because we’re sober. In fact, sometimes it feels harder because we actually have to face things head-on instead of numbing them away. But the truth is, alcohol and drugs never actually solved our problems. They just delayed them—and often made them worse.

Now, when I want to drink, I pause and ask: What’s really going on? What’s the root of the stress, anger, or sadness? Can I do anything about it? If not, I have to accept it. If I can, I take small steps forward to make the situation better. Drinking took my first marriage, my job, and my freedom. I remind myself of that every time I feel tempted. I don’t want to go back there.

Navigating People and Social Situations

Unless we live in a cabin in the woods, we can’t avoid people. And in early sobriety, I tried. I stayed home, I Door-dashed everything, I avoided every social interaction I could. But real life doesn’t work that way.

Work events, weddings, funerals, holidays, even just running errands—I kept running into people I didn’t want to see. People I hurt. People who hurt me. People who were still drinking and wanted me to join them. It sucked.

Eventually, I realized that avoiding people wasn’t the answer—I had to change how I dealt with them. Therapy helped. Rewriting my story helped. Slowly, I became stronger. Now, I can be in the same room as people from my past and hold my head high, knowing I’m doing the best I can, today.

One Day at a Time

The challenges in recovery don’t just disappear. They shift and evolve. But we learn, grow, and get stronger. When triggers come up, we recognize them and choose a healthy response or way to work through it. When guilt weighs us down, we move forward to better things. When life gets tough, we remind ourselves why we chose sobriety in the first place. And when people test us, we stand firm in the progress we’ve made.

You are not alone in this. Keep going—one day at a time.