Do It for the Right Reasons: Finding Freedom and Purpose in Sobriety

In sobriety, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this: a good work can be spoiled by a bad motive. You can go through the motions, check the boxes, and do everything on the "recovery to-do list," but if you're doing it for the wrong reasons, it’s unlikely to stick. Sobriety isn’t about fulfilling a requirement or satisfying someone else’s expectations—it’s about building a life worth living.

When I first got probation after my first DUI, I did what (I thought) I needed to do. I went through the motions, doing what my probation officer told me to do. But I wasn’t doing it for myself. I was doing it so I could “get back to normal life.” What I failed to realize at the time was that my so-called "normal life" was the problem—it was filled with drinking, chaos, and pain. Normal wasn’t working for me. And it wasn’t until I got another DUI that I truly started to understand how much needed to change.

Looking back, I realize now that my mindset was completely wrong. I wasn’t ready to embrace sobriety as a new way of living. I thought of it as a temporary inconvenience, something to endure until I could drink again. But what I needed was a complete shift in perspective. Instead of longing for my old “normal,” I should have been working toward a new normal—a life built on clarity, purpose, and being present for the people who matter most.

It wasn’t until I started going to AA meetings daily for a few weeks that things began to change. Hearing other people’s stories, their struggles, and their triumphs helped me realize that I was an alcoholic. And I needed to do something about it—not because of probation, not because someone told me to, but because I wanted to build a better life for myself and the people I love.

For me, that new mindset made all the difference. I began to focus on showing up for my husband, my mom, my siblings, and my nieces and nephews. But most importantly, I began to show up for myself. I started to take pride in being someone who could be counted on—someone who was present, dependable, and true to her word. Sobriety became less about what I was giving up and more about what I was gaining: freedom, clarity, and the ability to truly live.

I share this story because I know how easy it is to go through the motions of recovery without truly committing to it. It’s tempting to do it because your sponsor says so or because your probation officer is keeping tabs on you. But that’s not sustainable. Recovery is about finding your “why”—the deeper reason that motivates you to change. For me, it was realizing that I didn’t want to lose my life or the people I loved to alcohol. That’s why the tote bag on my Grit and Grace store that says “My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last” resonates so deeply with me. It’s not just a saying—it’s a truth I live by every day.

Recovery is also about finding freedom—freedom from the grip of alcohol, freedom to be yourself, and freedom to live the life you deserve. The “I Found Freedom in Sobriety” t-shirt on my store captures that sentiment perfectly. Sobriety isn’t about restrictions; it’s about breaking free from the chains that hold you back.

If you’re struggling to find your “why,” take some time to reflect. Ask yourself: "Who am I doing this for? What kind of life do I want to build?" It’s okay if your answer doesn’t come overnight or if it doesn't align with mine. The important thing is that you’re willing to dig deep and be honest with yourself. And remember, it’s okay if what works for someone else doesn’t work for you. Recovery is a personal journey, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.

Whatever you do, don’t let the devil whisper lies into your ear about how to cope. Don’t let him convince you that drinking or unhealthy behaviors will ease the pain. Instead, lean on God, talk to those who love you, and surround yourself with people who support your journey. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, start small. Begin with gratitude—write down a few things you’re thankful for each day. Reflect on how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go.

Sobriety isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. And when you do it for the right reasons, when you truly embrace it as a new way of life, it can be the most liberating thing you’ll ever experience. We DO recover!